The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Living with a man
In all fairness to men, there are some things we women can do to make living with a man easier on us both. Of course, you need to start with two personalities that fit well together, but when you do, you'll come up with these keys for happiness:

1) Give men their shed time. Every man needs his own space. The house is typically a woman's domain, so your man will need his own domain, whether that's his private home office, the garage, or a garden shed. Never store your stuff in his space.

2) Have ice cream available in the freezer. And steak.

A man's shed is his castle.

3) Give him sex. Lots of sex, unless he couldn't care less. Then, give him lots of ice cream. Or steak.

4) Cook for him. Even if he likes to cook, every guy likes a home cooked meal. Unless you're a lousy cook. If so, there is always steak on the grill. Men like to char meat on a grill. It's a primitive instinct. Be sure you have a grill. Don't pull faces when he throws fresh meat on greasy, charred grill. Germs boost your immune system.

5) Men like competitive sports. Deal with it. I've never met a man who didn't go for some kind of sport, whether it was baseball, football, ice hockey, Formula One racing, motocross, billiards, or camel racing. It's not all bad. You can learn to like looking at other men in tight shorts. Provide snacks.

6) When he is sick, he will feel like he's dying. Be sure to offer up lots of sympathy. Bring him coffee and juice. When he is sick, he is your baby. He will go to work regardless of how he feels, because it's not manly to call in sick and he will have to prove to his company how "tough" and dedicated he is. The minute he comes home, however, he will suddenly take a turn for the worse. The whining and pathetic moans, groans and demands are reserved for you, his spouse or girlfriend.

7) Men don't check the dishes when they come out of the dishwasher to see if any food is still stuck on there. Don't ever give him this job to do. Men don't vacuum. They wait until the dust and pet hair mound up into little balls and gather in the corners of the room. This is your job. Men who like to vacuum don't like women.

8) Don't complain about anything, unless you want him to fix it. That means, don't complain about your mother, your kids, your finances, or your marriage. As soon as you present a problem to a man, his mind will go to work on trying to fix it. Some women lose their men to the shed. This is where he does all of his problem solving. Some women never see him again.

9) Men like to bring home pets for you to look after and for him to play with.

10) Men love to buy their wives and girlfriends kitchen gadgets for their birthdays and Christmas, thinking that we will get the same amount of pleasure that they get from new tools. Don't be disappointed. To a man, this is a compliment. You can goad him into buying you something that you really want, after you have a fight. Men like to please their partner. Really.

See, it's not that hard. It just takes a little patience and understanding, and remember the old adage: "Men are earthlings, women are from out of this world."

posted by Melanie O. at 4:39 PM -
Post a Comment

About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
See my profile...

Another Retro Housewife
Brought to you by
Previous Posts
If you read this blog,
you're not alone!
Sydney Weather
    The WeatherPixie
Favorite Links

You are visitor number