The Secret Life of Melanie O.
 
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Weekend antics
Last weekend, Dan and I decided that we needed to "get away from it all" for a while. Somewhere exotic. Somewhere we could relax and that perhaps catered to tourists, as we wanted to be pampered a bit.

We went to Canberra. For you Americans, that is the equivalent of expecting an erotic, fun-filled weekend in Muncie, Indiana.

I should have known that this trip was a bit doomed from the start when Dan wound up with a cold sore the size of a Chuppa Chup pop about a week before. "It'll go away in a week" we said. I even suggested that we postpone our trip for another week to make sure he had full use of his lips. But no, Dan assured me it would be gone by then. Until the sore was dried up, however, no kissing. No nothing.

We'll still have fun, I thought. We'll go shopping at one of the many adult novelty stores that can be found in any nation's capital. This is fine in theory, but when you get there, you realise that there's nothing in there that you haven't seen before. We bought scented massage oil. I was bored after fifteen minutes. There wasn't a decent lingerie outfit to be seen.

The drive down there was nice, however. Three uninterrupted hours of mindless chatter and bad jokes. Just the thing we're good at. We indulged in Hungry Jack burgers, something we do about twice a year, and monitored the skies for heavy rain. Exciting so far.

We got to our cheap motel. If you're going to have a debaucherous weekend, it's almost mandatory to stay in a cheap motel. We stayed at the kind for which you have to bring your own towel and face cloth. It was one step up from a hostel. At least we had privacy and a TV (with theft-preventative alarm system) that you could see if you also came equipped with opera glasses.

Our debaucherous night was spent watching Cats and Dogs on TV. The cold sore wasn't gone. No kissing, even. At least the animated cats were funny, even if the dogs were not. We had spicy Pakistani food for dinner which haunted me for a couple of days afterwards (which is how I know it was really good stuff.) I gave Dan a massage. I fell asleep at 11:00. The next day we went to see a garden with a miniature village, and caught up with a friend and her embarrassingly gay dog, Dave.

It's the stuff they don't write about for the Big Screen, unless, of course, they're making a comedy of my life.
posted by Melanie O. at 5:57 PM -
6 Comments:
  • At 10:14 AM, Blogger gardenbug said…

    Ha Ha Ha Ha. Welcome to life with regular people. Staying home can be fun , too. It can be glorious to catch up on your dusting and mending...a variation on your weekend vacation.

     
  • At 1:55 PM, Anonymous Don said…

    Isn't Canberra famous for something? I know the brits named a bomber after it.

     
  • At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Sarah said…

    now you know why i was in such a hurry to get the hell out of the place!

     
  • At 2:51 PM, Blogger LivinginOz said…

    LOL Sarah!

    Don, I'm not sure. I really don't know too much about the history of the place. It's very "neat," because it was patterned after Washington, DC, so it reminds me a bit of "back home." But other than that, it's pretty ordinary, especially for a national capital.

     
  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger Kanani said…

    well, as long as you're together and enjoying yourself. When you stay at a cheap motel, you almost always regret that you didn't bring a matress pad because the mattresses are so awful!

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger LivinginOz said…

    Ain't that the truth! Sleeping on the floor would have been just as comfortable. :-)

     
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About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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