The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Friday, January 20, 2006
The objects of my lust
My husband is well aware of the fact that he is not the only lust of my life. Like a lot of women, I have my own fantasy objects of desire. Some women I know have more than one object of desire, myself included. I have discovered that there is a common element to my objects of lust.

They are all Geminis.

No one knows why this is. Libra women and Gemini men are supposed to go well together like honey and peanut butter, or ice cream and hot fudge. Alone - they are complete and wonderful "as is," but together, they become decadent. So it is with me and my objects of lust.

Johnny DeppLike a lot of women, I find Johnny Depp to be irresistable. I don't know if it's because he chooses to play offbeat roles in film. I don't know if it's because I admire the way he leapt from 21 Jump Street onto the Big Screen. I don't know. And I don't care. Johnny is not ruggedly handsome. Heck, he still calls himself "Johnny;" not John or Jon. But he just screams "creative genius at work" to me. I can't see Johnny as ever settling for anything he didn't find intriguing and exotic. That's probably why he lives in the south of France with his French chanteuse, Vanessa Paradis.
Tim Allen
The other Gemini of my lustful fantasies is Tim Allen. Whoa! I know what you're thinking: Tim "Home Improvement" Allen? The guy who's played Santa Claus more times in the movies than any other actor? The same Tim Allen that got busted out of college for transporting cocaine and doing two years in jail? Yep - that one. Tim "Buzz Lightyear" Allen gets two thumbs up for making me laugh and keeping me entertained for the past 15 years. That's quite a feat for anyone, considering no one else has ever been able to do that, except maybe Gregory Peck, who is dead. And I find Tim sexy in that "man who can work with his hands" sort of way. That's the kind of sexy that never ages badly. My grandfather had that kind of aura about him. He was building things nearly until the day he died.

I got an autographed photo from Tim's publicist today in the mail. It's "autographed by Tim Allen." Of course, it's signed by someone who has been able to duplicate Tim's signature, but it's still very nice. I like the photo. It's real. Tim's aging very well. It must be due to being able to make people laugh. Laughter is good for the endorphins. Endorphins keep you young.

I'd run off with Tim Allen any day, as long as my husband Dan could come, too, as he is a huge Home Improvement fan. I think he could forgive me running off with Tim, since he admires him so much. I think that Dan could even forgive me if I ran off with Johnny Depp, as long as he got to watch Johnny on the set. Dan loves to see how the movies are made and watches all of the special Dan O.features on all of our DVDs. (He enjoys the "behind the scenes" documentaries more than the films, sometimes.)

Did I mention that Dan is a Gemini?
posted by Melanie O. at 10:09 PM -

About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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