The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Love is icky
I love my husband. Really, I do, but when you are with someone for a while, there's a certain ickiness factor that sets in. After the smell of the roses has died, the smell of love changes, and the ick factor grows.

My husband is very amorous, which is wonderful, but lately, when he comes up to me and encases me like a venus fly trap holding its prey, I feel the effects of his not having shaved for a couple of days, and I can't escape the onions that he had with his tuna sandwich for lunch. And he can't understand why I'm pulling away from him instead of melting into his arms.

He has a habit of getting right into my face when he wants to say sweet words to me, and I'm at a loss for finding a diplomatic way of telling him that his breath is making my nostril sphincters tighten up. It's hard to be critical of someone who is saying "I love you. Will you marry me?" while on bended knee. Plus, I can't really move, as he has me in a tight grip.

He wants to kiss me as soon as he gets through the door, which is great - I love to kiss him, too - but I've got beard rash day and night.

Still, I think about what life would be like without the suffocating hugs, the halitosis, and the beard rash. It would be a lot lonelier and a lot quieter, and a lot less fun. Maybe someone needs to invent designer clothespins for cohabitating couples.

That's something they don't tell you when you're growing up. Love is icky.

At least he doesn't purposely fart at me.
posted by Melanie O. at 3:47 PM -
  • At 1:43 AM, Blogger gardenbug said…

    There is something to be said for being married a long time. We stay the same in our mate's eyes...just as We were when We were first married. A camera shows that each has put on weight, some of it sagging. Glasses, hearing aides, thinning hair show on the camera, but not in the eyes of someone who loves you. When that person dies, the one left behind would give anything just to get a bear hug, beard rash, or to be blased with the odor of tuna and onion. When your Dad died, I went into the closet and smelled his suits.

  • At 8:09 AM, Blogger LivinginOz said…

    That's the great thing about being committed to someone - you can put on a little weight, get a few wrinkles, or have pizza breath - and they still love you. It's amazing how smells can trigger a memory of someone. I love snuggling up with Dan right after he has a shower ... it's one of my favorite smells in the world.

  • At 12:28 PM, Blogger Katie said…

    You need to trademark this one.

    xxoo BW

  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Oweena said…

    Wow--your mom speaks the truth Oz!
    After close to 15 years with my guy I know how lucky I am to have him around, and on those rare times I want him to give me some space I realize years from now when one of us is gone the one left behind will be willing to give anything for just that small seemingly insignificant look or touch or smile.
    We need to count our blessings while they are in our hands.

  • At 4:27 PM, Blogger LivinginOz said…

    Oh - I count mine - every day. :)

    I don't even want to think about what I'd do without Dan, beard rash and all.

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About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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