The Secret Life of Melanie O.
 
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Darwin was wrong
According to Darwin's Theory of Evolution, humans descended from ape-like creatures. I beg to differ. Men descended from ape-like creatures. Women, I'm convinced, descended from fish - or at least, I did. What makes me think this? Well, here is the evidence:

My husband stays warm no matter what the outside temperature. It can be hovering around the freezing point, and he is outside, working, in shorts. Granted, he has nice legs and should show them off, but in the middle of winter, when everyone else is wearing a jacket and a hat?

As for me, I wear a jacket in the summer. Too much air conditioning gives me goose pimples. My husband swears that if he ever has to cross the Sahara desert, he's taking me with him because I will find the coldest spot in the daytime. We can go hiking and work up a sweat, but my hands will still feel (*dare I say it?*) clammy.

Add to this, our ideal vacations:
His - staying at home and playing with tools in the garage
Hers - sun-drenched beaches, snorkling on a coral reef, and cold drinks

Personal hygiene:
His - quick shower
Hers - leisurely bath complete with head immersed in water and outside world shut off. Bubbles a bonus. (Little diving man and plastic treasure chest not required.)

Movies:
His - action packed, man-grunting, explosions, babes, typhoons, disasters
Hers - placid, romantic comedies, teary-eyed blubbering, "intellectual"


General attributes:
Him - Perpetually child-like. Thinks farts are funny. Likes loud music and playing in the dirt.
Her - Constant dazed look from having too many distractions. Prefers soothing sounds and staying clean.


Need I say more?

posted by Melanie O. at 8:24 PM -
2 Comments:
  • At 10:18 AM, Blogger gardenbug said…

    People who are cold all the time have low thyroid. In the morning before you get out of bed, put a thermometer under your armpit. Leave it there for 10 minutes or more. Try to not move around or you could break the thermometer. Write down your underarm temperature on a piece of paper. Do this for 10 days. They don't have to be consecutive days. At the end of the 10 days, average your body temperature reading. Bet it is under 98.6. If you were seeing my family doctor, she would put you on Armour Thyroid supplement. The thyroid gland controls a lot of body functions, body temperature among them. Some doctors do a blood test to test for thyroid function. This method of testing is known to be inaccurate. If your "body thermostate" is set too low, you feel cold and you have a problem losing weight because calories are not burned...they are stored. I've been on thyroid for decades. There is no side effects because the supplement is making up what your body is failing to do....make enough of the thyroid hormone. Love and kisses from the gardenbug

     
  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger LivinginOz said…

    I love my mom. :-)

     
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About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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