View From the Tenth Level

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Dan and I love movies set in the South. There is just something about a movie that is set in the US South that is so down to earth and people-centric. Movies set in the South don't tend to rely a lot on special effects, although they do rely heavily on sets, costumes, and good acting.

This past weekend we watched The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood for the fourth or fifth time, and watching it, I always think of my mother: what happened in her life to make her the person she is? And can I ever really know? Can anyone ever really know their parents as well as their parents know them?

I think this is why, when kids grow up, the parents miss the kids more than the kids miss the parents. Your parents know so much about you. They were there from the beginning (unless they chose otherwise,) yet, you, as the child, only ever knew them as the parent - not as the person.

Some people never bother understanding their parents as people, for whatever reason: hurts, mistrust, rebellion, misunderstandings that lead to resentment. Some people just never want to stop being the child - they don't want to know their parents as anything else but the parent. I would like to think that my sons miss me a little, even though they're grown up. I know they don't really need me, although, from their point of view, it's nice to have mom around to help in those financial crises - but it would be nice to think that they want me: for traditions, fun, and just someone to talk to and laugh with.

If I moved back to be closer, would we all want to move back down South - where life just seems a bit more grounded and real? I hesitate to mention this longing to Dan, because he'd move to North Carolina in a heartbeat, forgetting little things like where will our income come from and what about that immigration red tape - and the fact that my sons would probably want to move in with us, too?

I'm done with thinking that the Western method of kicking kids out of the house at age 21 is all that. Let's stick together and get to know each other - as people. Ya Ya!

posted by Melanie O. at 8:39 AM -

3 Comments:

At 11:49 AM, Mabs said…

I moved in with my mum and her partner recently and apart from really wanting my own space, I'm loving living "at home" again.

It's so much fun to cook dinner together, eat, then load the dishwasher and just chat all night.
At 12:24 PM, Melanie O. said…

I hear ya! It's so nice when you can relate to your parents as other adults.
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