The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Unsolved mysteries
As I approach another birthday (one of those "milestone" birthdays that I refuse to acknowledge exists), I find that I am still troubled by some of the mysteries of the universe. There are some puzzles, it seems, that will never be solved.

One that haunts me weekly is, where do the mates to my socks go? Why is it, I put pairs of socks in the wash, and when they come out of the dryer, there are two mismatched socks with no mates? I want to blame the washing machine or dryer, but we clean those regularly and there have been no missing socks returned to their owners. Do they disappear down some strange black hole? Do aliens like my socks? Are my socks missing time?

Another one that troubles me: why don't I ever have enough coat hangers? I hear they multiply for other people. If this is so, why am I always short on hangers? I regularly clean out my wardrobe, just to free up some hangers, but there are never enough. I have to rotate my clothes with the dirty laundry basket just to make sure that there are enough hangers to go around. Do I occasionally buy new hangers? Of course I do - but still - there are never enough! Where do they go? And why do I have fewer clothes in my closet and still not enough hangers? Is there a hanger thief in my neighborhood?

Why do I always have more work to do on Fridays than I do on Mondays? Monday is the start of the week. That's when all of the tasks should begin, but no - I wind up with the end of the week being the beginning of the week. In other words, everyone wants things done at the last minute, before the start of the weekend. I think there should be a law that says Friday should be the prequel to Saturday and Monday should be the sequel to Sunday. Then we could all work hard one day a week, on Wednesday.

And lastly, why does my husband, whom I love dearly, always want me when I'm in the middle of something else? I can be falling asleep on the lounge, doing nothing but listening to a movie that I have no interest in, and he'll be off doing his own thing. The minute I sit down to do some work or get involved in a project, his hands are all over me. When I'm in the bathroom having a private moment, he makes up a reason to have to check the dryer in the laundry closet just outside the bathroom door (maybe he's looking for socks!) If you have young children, you know that this is a carry-over from childhood, when your kid decides to act up the minute you get on the phone or the minute that Reader's Digest comes to deliver your sweepstakes check.

I've had to accept the fact that there are just some things in life that will never be resolved to my satisfaction. Like aliens and UFOs. And why do aliens make crop circles anyway? Are they just trying to express their artistic tendencies? Or are they trying to tell me where my socks are hidden?


posted by Melanie O. at 4:52 PM -
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About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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