View From the Tenth Level

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Here is a fact for anyone who is in a relationship. If you're the woman, and you're sick, 90% of the time, you're going to have to look after yourself. Of course, there are those rare and wonderful men who will take pleasure in playing nurse to you while you're down with the flu, but even the best men just can't seem to grasp the fact that if you're sick, in bed, it might be nice to be brought a cup of tea and a couple of aspirin.

If you're the man - or better yet - if you are the female partner to an ailing man, you can expect that he will suddenly become feeble and helpless when he has a cold. But only in your presence. He will go to work anyway to prove to the guys there how dedicated he is. This is not to put men down in any way. It's just how it is.

Dan's been sick with a cold for the past couple of weeks, and the world is ending. He can't do anything except watch DVDs on the couch. He can't find the Panadeine. He can't find the antihistamine. (All of our medications sit in one spot - the only spot they have ever sat in.) He doesn't have the foresight to buy cough drops and expects you will pick them up for him. He's not well enough to help with dinner, but he will browse eBay for a couple of hours while you scrub and disinfect the bathroom. He says it's too cold in the house - we need to crank up the heat. I offer to make dinner - he says he doesn't want to eat, but then he sits and snacks all night.

This has gone on for over two weeks. He got rid of one cold, and promptly picked up another. In the meantime, I'm using every natural supplement known to man to avoid catching his infections. He moans and groans about his cough, but avoids taking the medicated cough drops I paid a premium price for. He won't take the supplements that I'm taking, in order to avoid future colds. I think he likes having something to moan and groan about.

Today, he felt well enough to get out of the house to look for a miniature hobby ratchet set at the outdoor markets. He was insistent that he wanted to do this, despite my doubts that he should be out of the house. He lasted all of ten minutes while wandering around, and the cold air was irritating enough that he started to cough up a storm. A vendor in a stall who sold natural lemon myrtle and tea tree oil soaps took pity on him. I imagine he thought I was a horrible wife and dragged Dan out into the cold so that I could browse through the cheap garage sale items and factory seconds. He admonished me to "just take him home and take care of him."

I could have just screamed.

Labels: cold, humor, husband

posted by Melanie O. at 8:28 PM -

6 Comments:

At 10:39 PM, gardenbug said…

Get better, Dan. You stay better, too. I don't remember that Dad ever got really sick...perhaps once or twice when you were very young. Bob W., on the other hand, with his poor immune system, got sick at periodic intervals. He was one of those exceptional men that when I got sick, was at my bedside with soda and tissues....anything I needed. He sets the standard for me.
At 9:53 AM, Melanie O. said…

Bob W. was really one of those rare gentlemen. And guess what? I've caught Dan's cold!
At 1:17 PM, Kanani said…

Whoo....
Has he been checked for walking pneumonia?
Poor Mel... Poor Dan.... bet you can't wait until summer arrives!
At 5:23 AM, Anonymous said…

*sniffle*
think I'm coming down with something.
Can someone pass me the what'cha-call-'ems-ine.
At 5:24 AM, Anonymous said…

soory, that last comment was from me.
At 11:03 AM, Melanie O. said…

Heh heh! Difflam lozenges and Sinutab - the only way to go.

Kanani, his chest is fairly clear - it's his throat and head that's the problem. We both sound like we've got clothespins on our noses.

Bring on the warm weather, I say. Today is another cold, rainy day. Blaa.