The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Taking care of business
Most people, once they are past the age of 40, come to the realisation that they aren’t going to live forever, and that they had better take care of themselves. The muscles start to sag, the belly protrudes, vision deteriorates and the gumline recedes. Since Dan and I are going away overseas to see relatives, we figured we'd go in the best shape possible, and since we can’t afford liposuction and botox, we opted for the next best thing: a visit to the dentist and to the ophthalmologist.

Our dentist is a funny guy. He could have been a stand-up comedian in another life. He always makes comments when Dan comes in, about how Dan needs to floss. I’m not sure his message is
getting through. He told Dan that he would collect all of the food particles between Dan’s teeth and save them for lunch. Ew.

Our dentist has an equally vivacious and giggly assistant. I am thinking she sneaks whiffs of the sodium pentothal when no one’s looking. We go to the dentist every year to be entertained while we have our teeth cleaned and bonded. All dentists should take note. Your patients will have less anxiety if you use dental humor. There should be a course for this in dental college.

Dan had a wisdom tooth removed and I had a sensitive tooth bonded. We both have Hollywood smiles – from 1930.

Next, it was on to the ophthalmologist’s for eye exams. Our eye doctor is also a pretty funny guy. He decided to show Dan what it would be like to have my eyes. He slipped on some goggles with
the appropriate lenses inserted, and Dan could see every pore in his hand, but couldn’t see far enough to walk through the doorway without losing his sense of direction. Dr Scott (as we affectionately call him) and I had a giggle. Secretly, we are just both jealous of the fact that Dan’s far sighted.

After we received our prescriptions for lenses, we headed down to the optometrist’s to pick out frames for glasses. I don’t wear mine that often, but after
five years in the same Calvin Klein’s, I decided I needed a change. My first ever pair of glasses was a cobalt blue cat's eye style that was ten years out of date in 1968. I hated them and never wanted to wear them. That's one of the great things about being a grown up. Since I'm paying - I get to choose. The assistant there helped me pick out a trendy pair of burgundy colored half frames that any 20 year old would be proud to go clubbing in, and Dan got a silver pair. Ironically, now that I'm a grown-up, I think cat's eye glasses are cool.

No one could accuse us of being too conservative when it comes to fashion.
I’m not sure what we were on when we picked out our frames. Maybe the dental assistant snuck in some sodium pentothal when we weren’t looking.
posted by Melanie O. at 4:40 PM - 0 comments
Monday, August 14, 2006
Preparing for the family reunion
Three weeks before our trip to the USA for the big family reunion, to meet my new daughter-in-law and catch up with everyone else. So, why am I not more excited? I think I can figure out why:

I am not looking forwards to being in a crowded noisy house with a group that keeps different hours, goes to bed at different times, etc. As a parent, I’ve been conditioned to not fall asleep until all my kids were safely tucked in bed. I’m usually the last one to nod off. I don’t expect to get much sleep for a few days.

I won’t be able to relax. With my mother, I’ll be running errands, preparing food, preparing decorations and looking after things to make sure they go well.

It’s only a matter of time before I will feel over stimulated and wind up with headaches. I live in a large city – all I want to do when I go away is relax and have fun. This will be work. Every personal problem will be aired, and I don’t have the time nor energy to fix everyone’s problems, but they will weigh on me like I need to fix them.

So why am I doing this? I have that figured out, too.

I miss my family – I can’t wait to catch up.
I’m looking forwards to all of the nostalgic reminiscences of the kinds of things my sister and I got up to when we were kids.
Looking at old photos. Seeing the familiar faces of people I love and who have passed on.
Lots of hugs and laughs.
Joking with my kids. Going over lots of memories and making plans for new memories.
Meeting new family members and reconnecting with old ones.
Showing my husband the many reasons why I am the person I am today.
Visiting some of the old haunts – like where I got my first real job.
It’s close to New York City – we’ll do a couple of days in the city, which will make Sydney seem quite “manageable” again by comparison.

Reunions, like religion, are a double-edged sword. As long as I stay on the blunt side of the blade, it will be a great time.
posted by Melanie O. at 12:57 PM - 2 comments

About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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