My birthday is coming up (yet again.) I am teetering towards that scary age. The age that everyone says is "downhill from here."
I don't know if I want to go downhill. What if I just want to coast for a while? Along the way, I think I'll take in some movies and some vintage lingerie and costume jewelry. I'll laugh like a fool with my friends and drink lambrusco for the heck of it and wear skirts that are probably too short to be respectable. I'll buy more bullet bras and back-comb my hair and wear red lipstick.
I'll listen to my new music discoveries: The Dinning Sisters and Ella Fitzgerald. I'll copy Marilyn Monroe's makeup and probably twist my ankle wearing heels that are too high - but I'll wear them anyway because they're sexy.
After visits to my physical therapist's office to repair damage I did as a mad skater in my teens, I'll create new damage by going on hikes in rough terrain, and I'll probably finally write those steamy sexual romances that have been sitting, in draft format, in a storage box.
Coasting through life? Naaah... I'll be flying downhill and screaming with my arms in the air. This roller coaster ride is only half through.
I've taken several photos off my blogs because they happen to be of living celebrities. Of course, these images are plastered all over the Internet in fan sites, etc, but with Virgin Mobile being sued because they used photos from the Flickr website without obtaining model releases, I now wonder how bloggers all over the world will be affected - especially bloggers that write to basically slag celebrities and trash them to the derisive chuckles of their readership.
It'll be interesting to see what happens.
Addendum: According to this site, using celebrity photos in commentary comes under question in regards to "fair usage." If you sell ad space or a product on your website, having celebrity photos could be seen as an endorsement by that celebrity, even though there was no such intention. It could also be seen as a commercial use of that photo. Does this mean now, no posting of family photos without written permission of all family members in case someone uses it somewhere else, creatively, without your knowledge?
There's always a risk that someone will use a photo in a way you don't like. With or without the Internet. I am sure that there is an old schoolmate of mine somewhere, who has a photo of me with a moustache drawn on it and a few teeth blackened out. Duplicate that with a copier or fax machine and distribute it, and if I wanted to be nasty, I could sue that person.
For the most part, however - I have to agree with Oscar Wilde who said, "there's only one thing worse than being talked about ... and that's not being talked about." It's scary to me, though, that having photos in a blog or on a website for illustrative or creative purposes could open people up to all kinds of lawsuits.
Dan and I have been married for nearly six years, and knew each other for almost four years prior to that. In all that time, through photos, webcam chatting, and living together as husband and wife, I've never seen him in a tie. Even on our wedding day, he wore a shirt with a short Henley-style collar because he didn't want to wear a tie. Granted, it was nearly 40 degrees C that day and no one in their right mind would have worn a tie. I think the marriage celebrant had one on though (poor guy.)
It took another wedding for Dan to wear a tie. We went shopping last week to make sure he had something nice to wear for a friend's wedding, and I picked out a tie to match his outfit. I guess this was rather sneaky of me, as Dan hadn't said he wanted one, but it matched his silvery-grey shirt so well, he agreed to give it a go. And he looked great!
So now I'm thinking - what other occasions are coming up, that I might be able to see him in a tie?
I have a feeling that if I see him in it every few years, that's probably going to be it, which is a shame, because there's something really sexy about seeing him dressed up. Dan's a "natural" for a tie.
My husband, Dan, has wonderful silvery salt-and-pepper hair that goes curly once it reaches a certain length. Women were always jealous of it, as Dan used to wear his hair quite long when he was younger. In fact, he used to look a lot like Bob Geldof in his younger years. Now, he looks a heck of a lot better than Bob Geldof. They probably both talk about the same amount, however.
I usually cut his hair (Dan's, not Bob's), since he likes the way I cut it. I learned how to cut hair by following the instructions in Bob Bent's book How to Cut Your Own or Anybody Else's Hair. Truly - this book should be a staple in any home that has kids. I saved a fortune by cutting my kids' hair when they were growing up.
Dan has been asking me to cut his hair for a few days now, since it's gotten to the Girly Curly stage. I said that was fine and that we'd do it this evening, after his shower. So, Dan had his shower and I got out the hair cutting instruments: a comb and a pair of scissors. It's amazing what you can accomplish with those two simple things.
Dan decided that he didn't want to be full of prickly hair cuttings after his cut, and announced that he was going to sit, in the nude, for his haircut. So, while I was getting things together, he undressed and asked my opinion if I thought sitting in the nude for a cut was a good idea.
"Sure," I replied while rummaging through a basket of hair grooming supplies.
"You just want to see my manly sexy body," he said to me from the confines of our bathroom (the room reserved for haircuts.)
"Sure," I said again. "Just let me know when you get one."
We both laughed. And he got a pretty darn good haircut.
I occasionally get fan mail from people who have been to my retro lingerie and pin-up site. Most people love the old style garters, bullet bras, and girdles that were staples of women's wardrobes from the mid 60's and earlier. I like that we all share an affinity for feminine forms of the past. Every once in a while, I publish an "R" rated photo, but most of the time, the photos are, by modern standards, fairly tame.
Sometimes I get a request to "bare more" and I have to say, I'm not terribly comfortable with the idea any more. I had a few nudes on my site and took them down. It's not just because I'm getting older, it's about not wanting to lose the mystique. I think it's a woman's prerogative to keep 'em guessing.
One of the reasons I love filmy lingerie and see-through tops and blouses, is that they leave a bit to the imagination. I think this is more exciting than baring it all. It's like being a kid and wondering what you're getting for Christmas. Unwrapping the gifts is as exciting as the gift itself. One year, my sister and I spoiled our Christmas by snooping and finding out what we were getting before the gifts were wrapped and put under the Christmas tree. I think that putting it all out there is a bit like snooping for Christmas gifts.
I often read of couples who are bored with their sex lives after only a few years of being monogamous. One of the reasons, I think, is because they forget that the mind is the biggest sex organ of all. Excite the mind, and the body will follow. Dan and I often share fantasies with each other - we don't need to follow through with them. Sharing them is like reading a dirty novel with each other as the main character. Again - leaving something to the imagination is the key to an erotic life.
At the rate we're going, I expect our lives to be perpetually filled with stockings, garters, bullet bras and smiles. Dan says that he'll be chasing me around the nursing home when we're 90.
Now that Doris Day is nearly 84 years old, I wish I could turn the clock back and make her popular again. I suppose she still is very popular in her circle of business acquaintances and animal lovers, but I'd love to see her up on the screen in a fantastical musical extravaganza the likes of Calamity Jane or The Pajama Game.
Some time in the 70's, when I was growing up, Doris Day became "unfashionable." Her public persona - the girl next door - suddenly was seen as a relic from another era - one that young people, especially, weren't relating to. Instead, women like Olivia Newton-John and Marie Osmond took her place. As a teen, we all cringed if Que Sera Sera came on the radio. That was old people's music! But today, I'd rather listen to Doris than her "wholesome" successors. Mainly - she sings a lot better than they do.
This appreciation has come on all of a sudden. In the past ten years or so, I've been collecting Miss Day's movies on DVD and video. Her films highlight all of what I liked about my childhood - everything seemed so much more light-hearted and innocent then. And people dressed better! Doris had a great voice and great comic timing. She was absolutely adorable. And sexy. Anyone who has seen Doris in that wiggle dress in Pillow Talk, knows I speak the truth.
I think about the sex symbols of her day, and know that with the right PR, Doris would have been a bombshell. She had the face and the figure. I even like her hairstyles. Why she got stuck with the moniker "the world's oldest virgin" beats me. Doris oozes sex appeal. She's like the sexy librarian. You just know there's something going on behind those glasses and the cardigan.
I remember my grandmother reading her autobiography and pronouncing her deceased husband, Marty Melcher, "a real sheister." My grandmother, who was not Jewish, used a lot of Yiddish words. I really didn't understand the implications until I got older and had to deal with a few sheisters of my own. At least I didn't lose millions.
Wherever you are, Doris - know that there are a lot of us who still think you're swell. I think I'll go play That Touch of Mink. Doris Day and Cary Grant - now there are two good reasons to revisit that movie.
I wish I had a recent photo of Miss Day. I bet she's aged wonderfully. It's a shame that she, like so many other women, don't want the public to see them as old. I suppose there's something to be said for maintaining that fantasy of never being any older than 50 (about the age she was when she did the Doris Day Show on television when I was a kid.) Maybe that's one of the reasons that Doris is so timeless to me.
It was Father's Day today in Australia, and I put on a lunch spread for my in-laws. Dan and I bought a couple of John Wayne DVDs, which we presented, along with a couple of other small gifts, and we spent a pleasant day with them. They're good company and always good for a bit of family gossip.
Dan had spent the morning outside, mowing the back yard (I've learned never to say that he was "cutting the grass,") and he came in, complaining of aches and pains. "I feel like an old man," he has said on numerous occasions, including this one.
I look at my father in law and think that Dan is a long ways away from being "an old man." My father in law is in his mid 70's and has a more active social life than Dan and I. He mows his own lawn with a petrol push mower (the lawn is on a hill) every week, as well as the church's lawn, and helps Dan with the lawn edging since Dan still hasn't quite got the knack of the Whipper-Snipper.
I raise my eyebrows when Dan says he's "feeling old." He's got a long way to go to catch up with his father, although we do share some age-related things. After lunch today, we watched an old Doris Day movie, and before that, we watched a John Wayne film. Despite generations, we all love these classics. Before that, Dan's mother and I discussed my vintage costume jewelry collection and how we both feel that style and quality has gone downhill over the past 50 years (since before I was born.) During the DVDs, she got out her knitting, and I watched, fascinated that she practically has the pattern memorised. I wish I knew how to knit correctly. Or crochet. Or even have the time to do such crafts.
I'm almost afraid of admitting these things, as I probably will get labelled a fuddy-duddy.
Generation gap? What's that?
Wanna hear the audio? Just click on the "play" arrow below: