The Secret Life of Melanie O.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Girlfriends' Day
Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and Dan and I did something truly unromantic - we got together with friends and spent the day out.

I haven't really taken stock with Valentine's Day since I was a teenager. It's always been a disappointment. No man I have ever known has put the same amount of importance on Valentine's Day, as we women do. So, I've given up on it.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is now Girlfriends' Day. The day you get out with your girlfriends if you're a woman of any age, and have fun, while at the same time, you share a giggle together about your male partners. My girlfriend Helen and I have both come to the same conclusion. When our children become parents, we will be called Grammie, and our male partners will be called Grumpy.

No one knows why this happens. Men seem to get grumpier as they get older - much in the same way male chimpanzees do. Women, on the other hand, tend to get 'girlier' as they get older, and cause their children to roll their eyes in disapproval at their antics. My sons haven't said a whole lot about me modeling lingerie over the years, but no doubt they wonder when I am going to act like a dignified older woman. The answer to that is - never.

So, I hereby dedicate Valentine's Day to girlfriends far and near. I have girlfriends all over the world (you know who you are), aged from their 20's to their 70's, and each one is a treasure. Some are gay, some are straight, some have partners and some are single. Some are only girlfriends in my memory now. But I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything.

Next Valentine's Day, I may leave my husband at home and just take my girlfriends out.


posted by Melanie O. at 9:45 PM - 5 comments
Sunday, February 08, 2009
The perils of boredom
Dan's mango pedicureThis weekend has been a scorcher. Temperatures have hovered near 100F out where we live. We are in peril of bush fires due to having no substantial rain for a month. So, what do we do to cope?

We get silly, of course. It might be the heat playing with our brains, but some interesting things have come out of this heat-related silliness.

Dan and I have an annual summer ritual. It's called "Dan's pedicure." It all started several years ago when I was giving myself a pedicure and Dan decided to be a pest and distract me by putting his feet in my lap as I was painting my toenails.

"OK," I told him. "Don't say I didn't warn you." And then I proceeded to paint his toenails to match mine.

Instead of being annoyed at his sparkly purplish-pink toenails, Dan had a laugh, which, of course, made me laugh. Now, every summer, I give Dan a pedicure and paint his toenails. Strangely enough, I don't give myself a pedicure any more.

This year, I thought I would be a little more democratic about things, and ask my online women friends to vote for the colour of the polish. The overwhelming majority voted for mango, out of a choice of mango, pink, gold, silver or pearl.

Dan, being the good sport he is, went along with the vote and is now the proud owner of bright orangey-red toenails. He even pulled out his thongs (flip-flops) to display his toes to the world. Actually, we went to see my in-laws this afternoon, where my father in-law remarked on the redness of the pedicure. "I like being different," Dan explained.

"Well, you've got that one sewn up," Dan's father replied.

I have to admire my husband - a man so secure in his own blokiness that he has no problem wearing sandals on the weekend to show off his pedicure. And I have to admit - mango is his colour.


posted by Melanie O. at 9:47 PM - 2 comments
Sunday, February 01, 2009
I'm melting.... what a world, what a world...
It's summer in Australia, and this one's been a "cracker," as Dan would say. Temperatures have been hovering near (and on some days, has surpassed) the 40 C /100 F mark. My orchids are burning despite me keeping them shaded. I sweat my way through the day, and food doesn't keep - even when I keep it in the refrigerator.

We live in an old country farm house with no air conditioning - not even one of those window units like they have in cheap motels. The best way I have to cool off is to wet my clothes and go around with soggy underwear. This is not only effective, but it is a "green" way to keep cool. I recommend it for anyone else who lives in 19th century conditions.

I wouldn't mind all of this sweating if it was actually the kind of sweating that helps you to lose weight. But of course, nature is cruel, and it's the kind of sweating that makes you blow up like a balloon and feel like someone's greased you down. It's the kind of sweat that makes you stick to anything. Like spaghetti, you can throw me against the wall to see if I'm "done." And let's just say that it doesn't do any wonders for your love life.

Next week is supposed to be even worse, with a heat wave that has hit Adelaide, scheduled to reach Sydney. I am NOT ready for 45 / 112 degree temperatures! I'm not sure what I'm going to do then. I may take a cue from my old cat, Butchie, who slept in the bathroom sink to keep cool in the summer. I do fit in the bathtub, after all.


posted by Melanie O. at 4:34 PM - 9 comments

About Me
Name: Melanie O.
Home: Durham, North Carolina, United States
About Me: Female, American health and beauty-conscious professional who has rekindled a childhood love of dolls.
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